Charlyne Cares – March 20
I Really think this is an excellent reminder that we’re
not to take personally everything that our
husband’s say or do as being what is really what is inside of his heart –
only God knows the turmoil which he’s going through & the battle for
our husband’s soul & mind that is going on
Remember Bob knows better than we who are hurting because he
was once a walk away husband & Charlyne was that praying wife who Stood for
her marriage even after it was her misguided Pastor who told her to divorce Bob
in the 1st place – if we also are faithful to God he’ll
also do for us what He did for that couple who now have the ministry to help
wives like us – we simply need to make those changes which God requires
of us to become the Godly Proverbs 31 Wives that He wants us to be & to
pray daily for the deliverance of our husbands from the clutches of Satan
19 Mar 2007
Subject: Charlyne Cares – March 20
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"MY SPOUSE HATES ME EVEN MORE NOW" –
"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved
darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone
who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that
his deeds will be exposed." John 3:19-20
We often have men and women tell us, "My spouse hates me more now than on the day we
divorced." Today let’s look at a couple reasons why this could be
The most common basis for this statement is that you represent light. You
represent Christ. You represent good and pure things.
By now, Charlyne and I pray that you can acknowledge that your prodigal spouse has been taken captive by
Satan. The actions and antics that you are witnessing, and being
victimized by, only seem to
be carried out by your beloved. He or she is acting on the will
of the Enemy himself.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a
roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
This will be review to most people, but someone today has had their eyes opened
and needs to understand that you or your spouse opened a door, be it ever so
small, that allows Satan into a life and into your marriage.
could have been flirtation leading to adultery. Perhaps it was social drinking
leading to alcoholism. How about looking at and reading the wrong things,
until there was an addiction to pornography. Regardless of the root
cause, it only takes a crack for the enemy to enter. After that, it will
always take more and more and more to satisfy.
We had an old aluminum backyard tool shed. It had endured one too many
hurricanes. For six months, our shed listed to one side, just
enough to leave a large crack at the bottom of the door. We finally had
a new, but smaller, plastic shed put in place. The crack at the
bottom of the door was gone. A few evenings later, Charlyne was looking
back door at our new shed, illuminated by a security light, when she screamed
for me. A small possum was walking back and forth along the front of the
shed, looking for his entry place which was now gone. That animal was
looking for an opening to get into our belongings and to do damage again. Who
would think that such a critter could be found in the middle of a city!
Another reason your spouse may dislike you even more after divorce may be
because your prayers are a threat to their sinful lifestyle. In fact,
every thing you stand for is a threat to their pigpen lifestyle. Only two
hours before we remarried, I was telling Charlyne we could get a marriage
license, if she would stop praying for me. I wrongly associated every
problem I had with being the results of her prayers.
leads into the third reason your absent spouse may seem to dislike you even
more now. Since your beloved took flight, hopefully, you have been
growing spiritually. Your mate may see the difference and feel threatened
by your spiritual leadership. I must
confess to having been there and doing that also. Little did I know how
willing my wife was to step aside and allow me to re-assume the spiritual
headship of our family.
I pray you can understand what a threat a stander, walking with Christ seems to
be to their prodigal mate. You do not need to
announce to anyone how godly you have become. There will be a certain
confident, peaceful manner about you that will demonstrate to everyone who
comes in contact with you.
brings us to one more reason that, sadly, some prodigals seem to demonstrate
hatred toward a mate who is standing with God and praying for Him to restore
the marriage. It is difficult to express in a tactful way, but a few
people allow their faith walk with Jesus to become their trophy. They are
always ready to almost beat their spouse over the head with their
well-marked Bible. They know exactly what their prodigal
needs to get their life straightened out.
God is speaking to a prodigal spouse, that person needs some wiggle room.
We may even start toward home and then turn away in
anger. Right then, in our confusion, we prodigals are
watching to see what buttons we have pushed in the one who says they are
"standing." I truly believe our marriage was restored, when it was,
because my wife had de-activated all her buttons that I had previously pushed.
False starts toward home by a prodigal spouse are not uncommon. Each false
start either brings that person closer to home, or pushes them further away.
What makes the difference? How the prodigal’s spouse responds to
the false starts.
and I have two goals for every man or woman who is seeking marriage restoration
God’s way. We pray that each person praying for a prodigal spouse could
be two things:
SERIOUSLY STANDING –
Not following the examples of others, nor doing what other people say to do to
see a marriage healed, but developing an ever-increasing daily walk with Jesus
Christ, and listening to His voice for their direction.
READY FOR RESTORATION –
We have asked before, but are you ready for your prodigal to show up in the
next five minutes? If not, you will be one of the people who contact us
saying, "My spouse just called and is on the way home at this moment.
What do I do next?"
Even though it has been over 20 years since we divorced, I still cannot believe
the things that I put my family through when I left home. Back then, if
Charlyne were judging by my actions, she might have thought that I hated her
more after our divorce, and especially after someone else was in my life.
Satan, the enemy of our marriage, might have had me acting that way, but I
never stopped loving my wife. The twinges of guilt over what I was doing
began to surface, and like most prodigals, my way of handling it was to turn on
my wife. I thank God that Charlyne’s reactions always demonstrated
to a confused prodigal husband that my wife was ready for restoration.
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give
an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you
have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
FL 33061 USA
books are available in the Stop Divorce Christian Bookstore –
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