Pet Manners Please Note

This was posted on a BB that I’m a member of & it is so much like my own dogs & cats which I miss so much


If you ever had a dog that acted like s/he was part of the family and dog manners were OK, here is a little letter to give your dog.


Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. If you walk in front of me, do not look back to see where you are supposed to go. If you want me to lead, walk along side or behind me, that way I am the leader.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note: placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the least.

The stairway and the hallway were not designed by NASCAR and are not racetracks. Beating me to the bottom of the stairs is not the object, and tripping me doesn’t help, because I can fall faster than you can run.

I can not buy anything larger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to insure your comfort. Look at the videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball! It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end (to maximize space used) is nothing but sarcasm. The rug in front of the kitchen sink is not your bed. That large oval pad filled with foam, by the sofa, is your daybed. Also, My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. My socks are not tug-of-war toys.

For the last time, there is NO secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Canine assistance is not required.

I hope your dog was like this.

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